


last

by MavenMorozova



Series: i hate you, i love you [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (in that mudblood is a slur), Consensual Underage Sex, Don't Like Don't Read, F/M, Fantastic Racism, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, Lovers To Enemies, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Missing Scene, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Request Meme, Snape's Worst Memory, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 10:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavenMorozova/pseuds/MavenMorozova
Summary: “Lily,” he whispers, and her hand jerks out of his touch as he grabs it and kisses her, though her lips still press against his tightly. She hates him, he knows, and yet in this moment, neither of them seems to care. So instead of saying anything else, he allows his mouth to open to her, and presses her roughly against the stone wall of the hallway. Lily moans and Severus parts his eyes just a bit to see her grimacing, as if angry with herself that she’s enjoying this.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape
Series: i hate you, i love you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982635
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	last

**Author's Note:**

> this is marked as underage because it takes place after the events of Snape's Worst Memory, when they are both in fifth year.
> 
> **each chapter requested by anon on tumblr

“Why can’t you accept that I am the way I am?” Lily asks him with a ferocious intensity.

Severus cringes backward. He’s never heard her this way before, with steel in her voice and her eyes glinting angrily. They’ve had their quarrels. They’ve had their arguments. But this is charged with something much heavier and darker, and Severus doesn’t care to admit why, although he certainly knows. “I—” he begins. “You’re not like that!”

Lily glares at him, nostrils flaring. She seems even _more_ furious, if it’s possible. Which only serves tp make her even more beautiful, of course. “So the other mudbloods are disgusting and inhumane, but if it’s me, it’s fine, right? Because I’m _not like them_?” She draws herself to her full height, though she is still several inches shorter than him.

“That’s—that’s not what I meant, Lily. You know that. It just—”

“Slipped out?” she replies viciously, tears threatening to spill from her bright green eyes. “And yet you go around calling everyone else of my birth _mudblood_ Sev!” She spits out the word, and Severus flinches back involuntarily. It seems to vindicate something inside her, for her stance changes. “ _Mudblood_! Yes! It’s a dirty word, and yet it slips from your mouth like poisonous honey. Why should I be any different?”

He does the only thing he can, stepping closer to her and wrapping an arm around her waist. Lily flinches sharply, but surprisingly does not pull away, although her eyes are now rimmed red and her cheeks are glistening with just-fallen tears. “I hate you,” she whispers. “And yet that seems impossible.”

He understands. It’s hard to reconcile the two sides of him in his _own_ head, so Severus can only imagine what she must think of him. He wonders briefly what might have happened had he been sorted differently. Never met his friends, which have always stood beside him, even though they’ve made him an outcast from the only thing he’s ever loved.

“Lily,” he whispers, and her hand jerks out of his touch as he grabs it and kisses her, though her lips still press against his tightly. She _hates_ him, he knows, and yet in this moment, neither of them seems to care. So instead of saying anything else, he allows his mouth to open to her, and presses her roughly against the stone wall of the hallway. Lily moans and Severus parts his eyes just a bit to see her grimacing, as if angry with herself that she’s enjoying this.

They stumble into an empty classroom down the hall, attempting to be quiet in the nighttime silence. “ _Muffliato_ ,” Severus mutters quickly, casting his spell around them. Thankfully, it seems as if Peeves isn’t lingering here, and they quickly resume where they were at. Severus peels off Lily’s dressing gown and nighttime robes without a moment’s hesitation, feeling her hot mouth on his neck and jaw as he does so.

They are young and awkward, certainly, but this is not their first time. Severus relishes the way that Lily pants as her layers are torn off at his hands, the way that she whispers in his ear all the terrible things he’s ever done. It sends a shiver up his spine, and yet he knows that it’s true.

Somehow, it only serves to arouse him further. And if he’s not wrong, it’s having the same effect on her, though she claims to so desperately despise him.

Soon, they are pressed against each other naked, Severus’s hands tangling her hair and her nails scraping his back. Lily flips him around so that now _she’s_ pressing _him_ against the wall, and he feels the cold stone of it harshly upon his pale skin. “Lily—”

“Shut up, Severus!” Lily snaps, and before he can process it, she’s delivered a swift slap across his cheek, leaving his skin stinging. He knows that she’s hit him hard enough to leave a handprint, and at the thought, he feels his length twitch. That alone disgusts him, but he still wants more.

There’s a glint in her eye, too, like she’s enjoying this. “How does that feel?” she asks, voice throaty from tears. “How does it feel to be brought low, to be at the mercy of everyone who considers themself better than you? Hmm?” She slaps him again, this time on his other cheek. He lets his head hang there off to the side, waiting for her to continue, even as his arousal rises. “You have no idea, Sev. No idea at all!”

For the first time, Lily notices that his cock has moved, but she does not smile or say a word. She only grips it tightly and gives it a few pumps, making Severus groan. “You don’t deserve this,” Lily whispers in his ear as she continues. “I hope you know that.”

Severus reluctantly pulls away, inching himself along the wall to extract himself from her grasp. “Let me prove to you that I love you,” he whispers in reply. “Let me make it up to you.”

“You don’t love me, Sev. You never have. Not if you think that I’m lesser.”

Severus sucks in a breath. “But I don’t think that!” he protests. “I’m just...used to hearing it.”

“That’s a hell of an excuse,” Lily says, and this time, she sounds defeated. “You can do what you want, but after this, we’re never speaking again. You can go die in a hole for all I care.”

He curls his lip at her, letting his anger finally course through him. “How dare a filthy mudblood speak to me that way?” Severus spits, and her eyes widen as soon as he says it. The question comes as a surprise to him, too. Had he really just said that? Perhaps he’d meant it all along after all.

***

Lily watches Severus, a snarl growing on her face. He looks pitiful, standing there pale and naked, hair handing limply on his shoulders and dick sticking out like a sore thumb. But she knows what he really is—a coward, a bigot, a follower with a weak mind. He can’t even stand up for her, and he’s lost the ability to think for himself. So she doesn’t pity him at all, only able to stare at him with gross contempt. “I can’t believe I’ve entertained your friendship and—whatever this is—all these years,” she murmurs. “Have you been _manipulating_ me?” A sob escapes her throat, and Lily is ashamed of her weakness. “Did you ever care about me at _all_?” She isn’t even talking about love, but simply the sentiment of caring about her, who she is, what happens to her. But that is a stupid thought, really. “No. Don’t say anything. I don’t care.”

That’s a lie. Of course she cares.

Before she can contemplate further or admit something that she doesn’t want to say, Severus is upon her again, this time his hand at her core, rubbing over her as she clenches around the finger that he inserts. She hates this, hates how her body responds to him, the way she needs more.

Severus pulls his hand from her, and she moans in protest. “Sev, _please—_ ”

His lips tighten, as if he’s enjoying the sight of her and hearing his name like this on her lips, but he doesn’t reveal more than that, instead drawing his wand—his _actual_ wand—and whispering an incantation that she can’t quite hear as he points it at himself. With a soft grunt, he fits his length inside of her, easing it into her entrance slowly as she adjusts around him.

They move slowly at first, Sev’s hand pressed against the wall as his hips buck. Lily groans and bites her lip instinctively, even though she knows that no one can hear them. He slowly moves faster, pounding into her against the wall as she rakes her nails down his chest.

***

Severus can feel the emotions bubbling off her like steam evaporating into thin air. After all, he’s a skilled Legilimens, and he is unconsciously tapping into her feelings. They are dark and stormy, but perhaps that was always in store for them. Right now, the only thing that he can do is accept this and move on.

***

Lily lets her eyes roll back as she comes, and Severus follows suit a few seconds later, the both of them panting heavily. She’s ashamed to admit how wonderful she feels right now, but then again, she’s always been drawn to Severus, and he to her.

Reluctantly, with the utmost slowness, they pull away from each other, and Lily can see the hollowness reflected in his eyes. As if he already has accepted his fate. Good. She turns away, yanking on her robes and dressing gown without glancing back up at him.

“Goodbye,” she says as she marches from the room.

She doesn’t wait for him, and she doesn’t hear his dry sob that echoes around the empty room she’s left behind.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are always appreciated!!


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